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miércoles, 29 de mayo de 2013

Sexo oral

Colegas, aquí les dejo una perla pirateada  limpiamente a "The Guardian". Resulta que una chica consulta a una experta del periódico su caso: su novio, (pareja, maromo o machacante de turno), no para de hablar sobre bandas musicales cuando tienen sexo.

El problema: "My boyfriend talks too much during sex. We've been together for a year and recently he's started talking to me while we're intimate. At first it was everyday stuff like what he wants for dinner but then essentially he began ranting. Do you know how hard it is to climax while listening to someone talk about how many bands have produced "disappointing second albums"? I don't know if I can go on like this".

El consejo serio de la experta: "While you probably believe you've been patient and understanding, you really should have complained the very first time he made an in-bed dinner request. That's unacceptable, and I'm wondering what else you're struggling with, since most sexual problems are metaphors for the overall relationship. I can see you use humour as a defence mechanism, so in return I could just tell you that if he's massively rich or famous and you've decided you'll put up with it to please him, you'll eventually discover it's not worth it. But everyone gets worse if you fail to set boundaries. Your boyfriend may be suffering from a psychological or anxiety disorder, so the chat may act as a calming mechanism. Or he may need to arouse himself with an anger response in order to summon sexual energy (the best eroticism is accompanied by a little aggression). I have known such behaviour to occur in people with other, more serious, conditions so consider seeking a professional evaluation".

Consejos peregrinos que no aparecerán en "The Guardian":

- Que lo amordace en plan sadomaso.

- Que lo bese hasta que lo deje medio ahogado.

- Que le propine dos buenas hostias, a lo mejor hasta le gusta.

- Que le chille en la mismísima oreja, en castellano castizo: folla y calla, imbécil.

¿Alguna sugerencia?








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