Engineering Happiness

He escogido un comentario de Oliver Burkeman (The Guardian) que me parece que viene de maravillas en la situaciones inciertas en que nos ha tocado vivir a la mayoría de los pobladores del planeta. Hollywood y los cuentos de hadas  nos han mal educado en la búsqueda ciega de la felicidad. No, no fueron felices toda la vida, ni la pasión les duró más de dos años. El amor no es para siempre. No estamos programados genéticamente para eso que llaman felicidad. La evolución biológica no contempla ser felices.Y para rematar la jugada el consumismo galopante en el que nos movemos propicia una sensación de disconformidad permanente. Me explico. No se trata de conformarse con situaciones inaceptables. Ni dejar de luchar, si es necesario, por alcanzar cotas superiores de bienestar. Pero lo que vienen a decir los dos economistas que han perpetrado el libro "Engineering Happiness" es que se necesita adecuar las aspiraciones a la realidad. Hay que saber conciliar la realidad y las expectativas. Pongo un ejemplo que tiene que ver con los patrones de belleza que se venden a las mujeres. Perseguir la apariencia de adolescentes de 15 años cuando se han rebasado los cuarenta puede ser una fuente de frustración permanente. Es un mínimo ejemplo de inadecuación de las expectativas a la realidad. No, nadie va a ser "for ever young". Ni la pobre Cher.  Así que si les parece visiten el artículo original.

"The economists Rakesh Sarin and Manel Baucells, in their book Engineering Happiness, call it "the fundamental question" of wellbeing: happiness equals reality minus expectations. Raise expectations beyond reality's capacity to meet them, and misery follows. The reverse applies, too: you can make people happier, studies suggest, by delivering bad news, then withdrawing it. Hence the car salesman trick: lure the customer with a deal; reveal it doesn't apply to the car being considered; then have a word with your manager, who – hallelujah! – agrees to an exception. Relief triggers happiness, and a sale.

A popular recent post on the website Wait But Why suggests expectations might be to blame for the malaise of the entire "millennial" generation. Baby boomers were raised by their Depression-era parents to expect that hard work might bring security. Thanks to the economy, they did better than that. But they instilled even higher expectations ("You can do anything!") in their kids, who face a worse economy, plus ceaseless distorted data, from Facebook and suchlike, about how others are faring. I'm not sure I buy this: it smacks of the tendentious "millennials are narcissists" line, as if it's the height of self-absorption to want to afford a flat. Still, it's clear expectations can sometimes run wild, so it's worth asking if it's time to lower yours.

Ah. Yes. Which brings us to the problem. How? Many gurus advise keeping expectations realistic, as if you could simply choose this. They do sometimes suggest tactics, the best of which don't involve directly changing your thoughts, but your environment: "choose your pond" wisely, as Sarin and Baucells put it, since the place where you live, the work you do and the people you socialise with are all potential sources of exaggerated expectations."